Thirst

wonderings that typify the short-lived musings of the long-term
uncertain of the if, what of the where,
whether the clay in my hands
will make a complete muck of it all
but one thing is certain
seems certain
be almost certain:
that I am at each moment less than who I was
in this circumscribed interim, and more
than the sum of my tags.

Autofiction

uninspired with nothing to give so what do I have only a little left this empty balloon that’s gonna pop soon (just you watch out it’ll come without a doubt) filling the gaze (anxious me in a maze) and you’ll never know what’s going to blow behind the veil the screen the big ass machine – that’s when all the king’s men come tumbling down but you don’t hear a sound because only the winner takes the crown.

Bow. Exeunt.

And sometimes the day was just nonsense

In Memoriam

There are some things that put your day into perspective. Like death, and life. Like getting through life, and truly living. Call it what you will; the call does not cease. It finds you, the homing beacon, quick and relentless, as arrows after their aim. And once you’ve pricked your ears you are never, ever the same. Still, the choice remains: Hamlet’s burning quest/question.

I am glad your words were shared with the world, Abdul-Rahman Kassig.

The worst demons

are the ones within.
Let me wrestle you, foe,
until you see mud
taste the dirt from the earth
and know your place;
tremble, to behold
that misshapen side
the gnarled fist
as one image merges
into another
and I perceive
myself –
panting, fearsome,
hiding from my Beowulf
as I search
for one,
solid, shaft of light.

Alpha Ursae Minoris

Again you call to me:
“Begin from where you are,”
Heard the little bird
from the big, bright star;
And now when I am sinking
Like one of yours
who did too much thinking
When he walked on water
to you, but fell short,
Surrounded by friends
on boat and at port
Who could do
but naught;
I feel the weight of under
sinking, quickly, asunder
Loud waves beside me,
crashing,
night, strangely, unending –
Yet, lo, the star,
spoke with gravity from afar,
“Now then, take patience
And do not mar;
Your home is with me
And it’s not far.”

A Moment on the Quest

Today, then,

Let my prayer be,

“He increase

as I decrease,”

That the whole

of the Hole

grows dimmer;

That the hugeness

of the Hunger

shrinks;

That the pain

of the Why

fades

into light –

So,

As sunlight

Sifting through

The forest floor,

There,

there I find

My peace.

The Persistence of Memory

Bring me back to 1993

When it was just you and me

Singing together in the night

Though you couldn’t hear me then it was alright

‘Cos you touched thousands, and I was

Just one

Blessed enough to know you.

Now, with beauty faded

I still recognise your coy lipstick stains

Strewn remnants,

Crumbs,

To find that missing part of me;

And before I let

The strangers engulf

I look back and wonder

At what I’ve gained

And what I’ve lost

And what I never even had

All this while.